he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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