peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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