I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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