My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
