Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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