i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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