you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
