You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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