what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Randomize
