Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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