my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
