well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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