I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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