I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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