Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize