In America we eat man semen.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
