I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
