The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
