so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Say something about gay babies.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
