He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize