im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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