I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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