I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish i was in the wii world.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Randomize
