i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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