A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
