All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
