Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize