Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
