well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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