so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
