That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
