I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
