areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This is classic penis vs brain.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
