there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
