that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She bit a glass in half.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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