Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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