i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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