I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize