in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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