so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
