News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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