Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
