I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
