You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
