Umm I'm too high to move.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Randomize
