does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
