my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
