the new term for farting is butt boxing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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