you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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