Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize