Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Randomize
