my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
