THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
there is puke in my bra ... again
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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