Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
