The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
