you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
