dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
