i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
