I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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