Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
