the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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